The book, Childhood: It Should Not Hurt! by Claire Reeves, C.C.D.C., is a must read for those who have had the misfortune of having sexual abuse come into their lives. This book is easy to read and to the point. It walks the layperson step by step through the process of childhood sexual abuse beginning with how to react to a disclosure through what to expect from the judicial system.
Ms. Reeves provides good and practical advice for those who have to deal with such a horrifying and irrational situation. She begins with what a parent should do during and after a disclosure. Ms. Reeves also realistically describes what responses a non-offending parent might receive first from social services agencies, and then from the courts. It is beneficial for people dealing with this type of situation to realize that it may be very difficult to get the desired responses from professionals. Ms. Reeves book encourages readers to not give up and to realize that they are not alone in the difficulties they are having in protecting their children.
An interesting chapter in the book regards psychological evaluations of both the offending and non-offending parents, which may occur in such instances as custody evaluations. Ms. Reeves makes a good point that a non-offending parent may seem anxious, irrational and hostile. This fact needs to be reiterated to professionals conducting such evaluations. They must remember that the non-offending parent is dealing with a very disturbing and upsetting situation and is fearful for the safety of the child.
Ms. Reeves clearly defines sexual abuse and its symptoms and discusses the different types of sexual offenders. She does make several opinionated arguments, which seems to be extraneous and not beneficial to the book. She reports a clear disdain for Gardner, the creator of the “parental alienation syndrome”. While Gardner clearly did a disservice to childhood sexual abuse victims, Reeves description of Gardner seemed too personal and took the focus away from her position. Similarly, Reeves discussion of clergy abuse and her denouncing the Catholic Church may alienate some of her readers. Nevertheless, Reeves does make valid points regarding these subjects if the reader overlooks her emotion regarding the subjects.
Also touched on in the book, but not in great detail, is the fact that the abused children often still love and want to see and be with the offending parent. Though this seems inconceivable to those who have not been abused, it is an important fact for non-offending parents to consider and to consult mental health professionals on how to deal with it.
This book does a great service to those who have had to deal with the abuse of their children. It is a book that professionals should have on hand to give to parents who bring their children, or themselves in for treatment after suffering sexual abuse. It is also recommended that all professionals who deal with sexual abuse (judges, social workers, Department of Social Services) read this book to remember that these are parents who are just trying to protect their children.
